Stay-at-home vs. working mamas

There have been many shows recently, highlighting parents, Moms in particular. Dr. Phil, Oprah, yada yada. Not that I was able to sit and fully watch above mentioned shows, but I did happen to catch snippets. The jist being the debate whether Moms (in particular) should stay at home during their children's formative years or hit the workforce to provide for their families--hmmm.



I am, and gratefully so, a stay-at-home Mom. In my life b.c. (before children), I worked...A LOT! In fact, I was receiving a paycheck before I was legally allowed to. Regardless, I know what it is like to work and work hard. Work ethic doesn't fade just because I no longer receive a W2 at the end of the year. I was raised to appreciate a hard day's work...and I do. But I've digressed, I am eternally appreciative for the opportunity to stay with my children during this time and I never take for granted the fact that very few women have the option.



These shows highlight the postive and negative aspects of both lives. The ability to see both sides of the coin is what has led me to write this--it seemed as though many of the women discussing the topic, were not able to be as understanding or sympathetic to the other side's point of view. Seems silly to me--maybe they purposely chose these particular women because they are so polarized in their opinions and it makes for better, more political debating. But when a stay-at-home Mom tells the working Moms that they are selfish because they "choose" to lead a life outside their house, well, I tend to cringe. And vice versa-when one of the working Mom's stated that stay-at-home Moms are lazy, dependant and have no work ethic to teach their children the "right" direction in life, well, that burns a little in the back of my throat. Excuse me, but both sides are WRONG! First off, many working Moms have no alternative but to bring home a paycheck--stay at home with the kids or feed, clothe and shelter said kids? Especially in this economy when every penny is needed to raise a family, why would anyone assume that the only reason a mother would leave her children to go and work, is to "escape" the demands of the home. Don't get me wrong, it is demanding, I just think the woman who made this statement is very jaded. I'm sure there are moms who do not want to stay at home 24 hours a day with their kids and that's why they choose to work (and I do know a few), but why is that selfish? Not every mother has the same want or need to be at home with their babies and therefore provides for them in other ways. If you know that you are going to be a lazy, non-involved, unproductive stay at home mom, yes, by all means, your talents would be better served outside the home. And I know a few Moms (and Dads) like that as well. I have too much to do to even consider the notion, but here here to the women who can pull that off and get away with it (not really, sarcasm).



I think it is very unfair to be so polarized concering this topic--we have no idea what any given family's circumstances are and who are we to judge anyhow? I do believe this particular subject is just as infuriating to people as religion or politics--my way is the only way!! That drives me crazy! Why can't people just admit that it is what works for them, not that it is the only way? A constant need to be right...so dumb and so egotistical.



I stay at home with my kids, not because I have nothing better to do...believe it or not, I do have talents outside the realm of wiping butts, balancing checkbooks and folding laundry. I stay at home because I am financially able to--and yes, we do sacrifice by being a single-income family. That may not always be the case, I will probably return to the workforce once my children are in school fulltime. But for now, I am eating up every moment I have to watch these little ones become incredible human beings. That is my job--they will be respectful, intelligent, thoughtful, creative, selfless, independent, happy, giving human beings (the goal of working Moms as well). I am raising these two people to be the best they can be for themselves, for society, for God. It is a task I do not take lightly and I am determined to do it well. So far so good, I think. :) I am left alone quite often with little to no help from my husband--not that he does not want to, but because he has to work 24 hour shifts often, days on end. I knew that much of the responsibility of caring for the homestead would be placed on my shoulders. There are times that are easier than others. But it was my choice to take on this role, and therefore, I am applying that same work ethic that I was raised with, and doing it well! Not always easy, in fact, lately I feel incredibly overwhelmed...Atlas with the weight of the world on my shoulders. But that's the price I pay...and I'm happy to sign the check.



I am really hoping that one of these tv personality's does a show about those of us in the middle--those of us able to empathize and appreciate both sides of the situation. I suppose the debate factor will be minimalized, but whatever. Moms are Moms whether they are home 24 hours a day or absent 9-5, Monday through Friday. We love our kids equally. You are no less a Mom just because there is another person who has to wipe your child's rear end in the middle of the day. Moms need to stick together--stay at home and working! It's a real hard job being a mother...you are so many things/roles/people combined into one skin. Expectations are high all the time. And although we fail (often for me), we are trying our best because so much is at stake. We are molding the next generation, and I don't know about any of you...but I have a feeling they will have so many of "our" mistakes to repair and we need to send them into the World ready and willing to take on the task!



Be kind to your fellow Mommy...she does everything you do, just under a different roof!! Love to all the awesome Moms (and Dads) out there! Keep up the good work, at home and on the job. Now, my kids just got up from their naps, so its time to get off this computer and be a productive parent! :)