Faith disguised...or is it?!

I've been visited by many missionaries lately. Not sure if its their message I'm supposed to hear or if its mine they are to receive? Regardless, I never miss an opportunity to spread what I feel is deep within my heart-my faith!

As I've stated many times, I am NOT a religious person. I do not attend any designated church on a weekly basis and I do not to subscribe to many of the dogmas so many cling to and expect as much from their parishoners. But, I am VERY spiritual. And there is a difference. I believe that there is one true and all-loving God. In fact, there's probably a Father...and a Mother God (and no I do not mean Mary, mother of Jesus). "Made in His own likeness...??" What about the XX carrying humans?-there are some definite differences between the two sexes. When I pray I do so to both--Father, the all-loving, all-knowing, creator of all that exists. And to Mother God, the warrior, the passionate one, the one who fights for us. About now, you're thinking, 'wow, she's whackier than I thought!' And believe me, that rationale, did not come to me overnight-the thought that there'd be a possiblity that there was a Mother and Father God. Let's just say that I do a lot of reading and consquently, a lot of research. :)

Regardless, when these missionaries, all well-meaning, attempt to better verse me in the Word of God, I noticably cringe. I've asked these visitors so many questions about "their" religion and generally, they are able to give me a straight, honest answer. We begin to chat about any other organized religion, their eyes gloss over and they are confused-one, why would I be asking a Mormon missionary about the Islamic religion and two, and this comes from my husband's mouth, why do I take the time? First, I feel like we assume certain identities because its expected of us-not that there's anything wrong with the Mormon religion, I have many wonderful friends who are. But that we are expected to believe certain things because those before us did as such. And another, I think we 'believe' out of fear-fear that if we don't subscribe to the same ideology, we are Hellbound. Unfortunately, many of us lead lives that are "safe" and familiar-not what we really want or possibly even need, but what we are satisfied with. My God, ps, He's yours too, is all-loving-He knows that we are all on a journey here in life to learn, grow, experience, and love for Him/Her. God knows that we will occasionally fail and disappoint, maybe more often than not. God knows we'll say things we don't mean and maybe say a few things just as horrible that we actually do. I do not fear God-I just want to make Him/Her proud that He/She created me, trusted in me, believed that I would be a human being who was worth creating. I believe we are all here for that very reason. What we do with the years we have here on Earth, well, that's our free will at work-we can choose to be productive, interesting, loving, balanced (up for interpretation) human beings or, we can be total dirt bags who drag down not only society, but humankind. Its all a journey and no one ever said any two paths were going to look exactly alike. I enjoy reading about all religions-I think all of them have the right idea (the God-loving ones anyhow, not you whacky Satanists)-and I think I have alot to learn from all of them. But when I say to a missionary that "the Islamic religion is one of the most loving and God-fearing religions" and they look at me like I'm crazy and interrupt with, "but they are ALL terrorists who just want to avenge their God through violence" I just shake my head and feel sadness for these poor souls. Hmmm...actually, those would be fundamentalists and as a Mormon, you should know that you have a few of those yourself! In fact, all religions do. And that's all I needed them to hear-your religion is just as susceptible to "crazies" as any other. We're all so concerned with being "right" and that drives me nuts.

I once told someone who approached me about joining their church that I would feel no closer to God under that roof than I do watching my babies sleep or running six miles around my city at dawn. God is everywhere and if you tell me the only place I can find Him/Her is under your roof, well, I've got news for you...you're the one who needs to search a little more for God; He's everywhere!! I appreciate local churches for the fellowship they provide and the likeness the congregation has-but its not the only place to find God. Generally, you don't have to look very far, just open your eyes, and there He is. Faith is what you need it to be. Faith is different for every single human being and maybe we should start accepting that. There's that common denominator...GOD, and we're all trying to get back to Him, but isn't okay that in the meantime, we just be good to one another? Isn't okay that I feel more comfortable approaching God in my backyard under a beautifully moonlit sky? It is.